A few weeks ago, I found myself in a study month at my medical school where we received time off from clinical duties in order to study for our licensing exams. Although the study schedule is fairly intensive, we have the flexibility to decide how we will structure each day. As such, although I did not feel that my study schedule would allow me the time to be “paired” with a mom through Embrace, which entails taking a mom to all of her prenatal appointments and being present for her delivery, I figured, at the very least, I would try to help out with some one-off appointment needs.

One brisk Wednesday morning, I went to meet Kawera who was nearing the end of her pregnancy. I had been told ahead of time that Kawera speaks Kinyarwanda and Swahili. By some stroke of grace, it turns out that I had studied Swahili for one year in college about a decade ago. But by a concurrent stroke of my own finitude, I realized to my great dismay and embarrassment that the only things I could remember how to say were, “Hello, how are you,” “I only speak a little Swahili,” “I don’t know,” and amusingly, “motorcycle” (“pikipiki” was just such a memorable word).

When I arrived at Kawera’s home, I mustered up my best Swahili accent and greeted her with a rusty, “Hujambo! Habari gani?” She smiled and returned the greeting. Our conversation after that was fairly fragmented, filled with multiple quizzical looks and gracious smiles. We arrived at her doctor’s office and while we were waiting, we discovered that we both speak some French, too. So, we took turns attempting to say things in Swahili, then French, then English to see if by any chance the other person would understand. When it was clear the other did not understand, we turned to an online English-Swahili dictionary to help piece together what turned out to be a very pleasant conversation.

When it was time for her appointment, my sense from our conversation was that she would prefer I wait outside the exam room. Of course, I understood; I would feel uncomfortable having a stranger I just met and with whom I could barely communicate sit in on my doctor’s appointment. At the end of her appointment, the doctor asked her to return in one week. Thinking I would simply relay that information to Embrace so another volunteer could take her, I jotted down the appointment information and we started on our way home.

Something funny happens, though, when you get to see someone face-to-face—and I mean truly see them. When you begin to learn about that person’s life, the names of her children, and the places she has lived, you start to feel interconnected, like maybe you both have an important role to play in bringing about joy and flourishing in the other person’s life.

Over the course of the next few weeks, as much as possible, I made it a priority to take her to as many of her prenatal visits as I could. After each visit, she would invite me into her home for some juice and company. I got to meet her husband and their other children, and we even sang some songs together. Although I thought I was the one working to actively welcome this refugee family, it struck me that, in fact, I was the stranger, and they had invited me in. They had invited me into the sacred process of pregnancy and birth, into their home, and into their lives. There are few higher privileges than this, and for it, I am deeply humbled and eternally grateful. ​

​Embrace Reflection by Carmen Reid

The first time Hay Soe welcomed me into her home there were plenty of awkward smiles and nods, the tell-tale uncertainty of letting someone, someone so unlike you, into the most intimate parts of your life. We couldn’t say much to each other without the help of a translator. I felt so lost and unsure of myself, was I really able to be what this woman needed? But I was determined this was someone I wanted to form a relationship with.
    Over the next few months we shared near silent car rides to and from her prenatal appointments. I worried the whole time I was too self-conscious, too inexperienced, too culturally distant to be a good support person for Hay Soe. I didn’t know it then, but we were getting to know each other, even in the most awkward moments, and building up that level of trust and respect that would be so crucial when it was time for Hay Soe to give birth.
    Hay Soe went into labor on a Saturday afternoon and went to the hospital later that night. I met her and her friend, a translator, there. The atmosphere of awkward car rides suddenly disappeared. We were all friends, united with the common goal of helping Hay Soe bring a new life into this world the way she wanted to do it. Hay Soe labored beautifully, pushing spontaneously and hardly making a noise. In those moments I saw her strength, her ability to advocate for herself, and even her humor. I didn’t know how natural it would be to laugh in a delivery room.
    Later on that night, when we relaxed and ate snacks together in her room, Hay Soe told me that she was thankful I had been given to her as a volunteer and that I had been the right fit. She asked me to name her baby, a boy, simply because I had been nice. I couldn’t help but to feel both shocked and honored, we had barely spoken before the birth, as she went on to say that sometimes you can just tell who is kind by the way act.
    Now I visit Hay Soe as a friend. We sit smiling, still unable to speak the way I would communicate with most of my friends, though that doesn’t make our friendship any less rich. In fact, it holds a warmth now that some friendships will never have, a warmth that comes from knowing friendship has no partiality to language, country, or appearance. I love and admire her for who she is and know it was never about my ability to be perfect, it was always about just being present with a kind face and a heart open to whatever comes next.

​

Beata is a beautiful single mother of three.  She just had her third baby a few weeks ago.  Beata has taught us and inspired us so much.  Beata came to Embrace a few months ago after having several difficult experiences.  However, she was determined to get the care she needed for herself and her family.  Beata completed our Healthy Moms class series near the end of her pregnancy.  So, when her provider suggested some interventions that she was not comfortable with, she responded with questions and then confidence in the decisions she made. With the support of her Embrace volunteer and the education from the classes, Beata felt prepared to advocate for herself and her needs.  The same night after her appointment where she refused the interventions, she went into labor and the following morning gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl.  We are so thankful and honored to walk alongside strong and resilient women like Beata who journey with love and courage through motherhood.  We believe mothers like Beata are the ones creating a better future for not only their families, but also our community and the world.

Photo & Story used with permission

​Overachiever award goes to Rebecca and Paxton
With over 450 hours of volunteering!  Rebecca has spent countless hours helping to develop our curriculum, teaching classes, helping with doctor's appointments, attending births, and being a fierce advocate for giving a voice to our mothers.

For attending over 10 births this year and over 50 doctors appointments! Paxton is someone is someone you can always count on.  She is consistent and reliable and fills in gaps and needs wherever she can.

All in award goes to Sarah
All of our volunteers are incredible people who welcome and love refugee mothers so unconditionally, but when we think of a volunteer who gives her whole self to this work, we think of Sarah-she gets to know a mother and her family and becomes like a sister to her and loves her so well.

Jump in award goes to Aryelle
In the nature of our work with pregnancy and birth, we often have last minute needs that arise, and need volunteers who are willing to be called day or night- whether doctors appointments, hospital visits, or labor support.  One of the folks who has filled this need so well is Aryelle.  She has spent the night at the hospital and given up weekend days, all with such flexibility and grace. 

​Shaw Ku Paw is from Burma. She has two sweet elementary school daughters. She has known great pain and loss in past birth experiences. Of course, a mother is changed forever by such outcomes. But, how powerful, also, when a mother can then follow these events with a birth experience that is positive and empowering. This past October, Shaw Ku Paw gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl. Her family has been overjoyed to welcome her into the world. Embrace has had the privilege of getting to walk with this family through the seasons of pain and joy. What gift to be trusted and welcomed into such an intimate space with a family! 

​“When the best leader's work is done the people say, 'We did it ourselves!'" — Lao-tsu
 
Empowerment is one of Embrace’s core values. We want to offer refugee women what they need in order to make their own decisions regarding their health, care for their family to the best of their abilities, and then show the way for others in their community to do the same. Therefore, one of the most important parts of our program is hiring refugees to educate, interpret, and guide women from their community throughout the process of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.
 
Pet Pet – Pet Pet is from Karen state in Burma. Pregnant with her first child, Pet Pet came to us a year ago eager to learn everything she could about pregnancy, birth, and parenting. She is a quick learner and quickly started sharing the information she received with other women around her and inviting them to our classes and mom’s circles. Now, we employ her to interpret for the classes, doctor’s appointments, and even births. She also helps to empower other women by teaching them how to take the bus to their appointments and advocate for themselves in the medical system.
Tarumbeta Obed – Yes, Obed is a man. You might be wondering how a male got involved with supporting and educating pregnant women. His involvement with health education for women started long before he came to America, actually. When Obed was a refugee in a camp in Tanzania, he started out getting menial work such as construction and soap-making/selling, but the leaders in the camp quickly saw his leadership capabilities and asked him to help interpret in their clinic. From there, he was trained to be an HIV counselor helping to educate families on the prevention of spreading HIV from mothers to babies. With his knowledge of 7+ languages, Obed has been helping us with interpretation for classes for the past couple years since we met him and his wife when his wife was expecting her 7th child. Now, he also helps women get to appointments, fill out paperwork, and connect to the resources they need.
Muzhda Oriakhil – We met Muzhda during her first pregnancy. Originally from Afghanistan, she came to America with her husband a few years ago. She is a delightful woman who has much intelligence and insight.  We recently hired her to help us reach out to the Afghani community and help in the office with administrative work.
Merry Seing Pai – Merry is a Chin (ethnicity from Burma) woman who was referred to Embrace by her caseworker when her second child was due. We immediately saw what a bold and courageous personality she had and asked if she would be willing to help interpret for our classes.  We then came to find out that Merry already had quite a bit of experience educating and advocating for women from the time she was a refugee in Malaysia and worked with a non-profit there to educate and advocate for women in domestic violence situations. Since we first met her, Merry has interpreted for classes, meetings, and appointments, as well as attending the birth of one of the women from her community.